AssistedConception.org

As a teenager I had the dreams that most girls had. I never imagined being a career person, my ambitions were to be happily married with four children, live in a quiet village, roses round the door etc… fairy tale!

I remember vividly when I started my periods. I was thirteen staying at friends. I awoke in the night with violent pains and I was then sick all over their kitchen floor. Quite an embarrassing scenario! My periods continued to be heavy and irregular. My mum took me to see the GP, where I was given the pill.

I met my first stable boyfriend at 16, when I started work. We brought a house before my 18th birthday. We enjoyed a fulfilling life - holidays etc. and both having good jobs. I started to progress on the career ladder. Years went past; I still had the same ambition of a family, no matter what else happened that was my ultimate goal, and would give me the most happiness.

We never got round to marriage, it was complicated, but he seemed to have a big phobia.
At 23 I decided I shall ask him if we should start trying for a family. (I had convinced myself that marriage was just a piece of paper, even though this played a huge part in my ambition).
I was so shocked when he said yes. I made an appointment at my family planning clinic to advise them I wanted to stop the pill and try for a baby. They gave me advice about folic acid etc. and advised my doctor.

The next year was awful. We had a lot of family problems which did not help the situation. I didn’t have a period since my last ‘pill induced’ one. I didn’t know how I should feel being pregnant, so every month I was convinced I was.
So we made an appointment with the doctor - and the tests started.

We moved house, brought a beautiful four bedroomed Victorian town house. We were so pleased and started to concentrate on the house, but we rattled around in it. Our relationship started to deteriorate and the pressure became immense.

Our family problems were still there and we spent little time together. We subsequently split in May 2001. I carried on with my appointments as I needed to know what the problem was.
I had a scan etc… that summer and they reported back that my tubes were clear, but I had some cysts on my ovaries due to not having a period. This was not a problem though.
Basically they couldn’t find a reason and it was not worth carrying on with the tests until I was in a position to try again.

I met my husband, and we had what people would call a whirlwind romance. He swept me off my feet, with in a month of seeing each other he proposed. I felt good about myself, enjoying our new relationship, he gives me so much happiness. The whole infertility thing was buried away. He knew what had happened so far though. Everybody said it wouldn’t last, but two and a half years later, we are still together, and now happily married. I even work for him! We married in June 2002. Due to my problems we decided to get the ball rolling and made an appointment to see my GP, as it all takes such a long time to get appointments, and we were prepared for a long wait.

Luckily an appointment came through for the October. The consultant prescribed Clomid for 6 months. I ovulated once or twice in this period. I was immensely disappointed. Everyone around me was falling pregnant.

April this year we went back to the Hospital they decided to double my dose to see if this worked. Meanwhile my husband had had two sperm tests, which were low. They suggested he does a third test.

July 2003, back again. Still, no consistency with my ovulation. The consultant suggested I carry on for another few months. My husband’s third test had shown his count as borderline.
The consultant commented that it would take us a long time to have a baby, due to our combined problems - nice of him - really left the hospital on a high!

The next few months were horrible. My moods became awful, I would cry for hours for no reason. I left my job as I was getting so stressed, and I now work for my husband and brother in-law.

The Clomid had caused my hair to thin so I had to have my hair cut short, and I seemed to permanently have thrush. My ovulation readings over the last few months were the worst.
I spoke to my GP who agreed that I should stop taking the Clomid and consider IVF.

We had another appointment at the hospital in the beginning of November. Every time we go we see a different person, which is very frustrating as you have to explain everything from scratch again.

The person we saw this time looked through my notes and said ‘ I see you have PCOS’,
and gave me three options:

1. Take Clomid and Metformin
2. Key hole surgery to remove cysts and then Clomid
3. IVF

She gave me a leaflet on PCOS. I was speechless, not once had I previously had this explained. To make it worse I read in the leaflet that if you have PCOS you should not take Clomid for more than 6 months. I had been on it for a year!

We made a subsequent appointment with our GP, as he is very helpful, listens and makes good suggestions. He suggested we see the consultant through a private consultation, as we would then get the qualified advice we need.

We are now awaiting this appointment. It is peculiar but I feel the most relaxed I have about the situation; I think it is because the pressure is off with not taking the Clomid.

I started having reflexology a few months ago, I highly recommend it, it is so relaxing and I believe it has helped me relax.

I have read a lot of other couples stories, it really helps, makes you realise you are not on your own, and there are many couples in a similar situation.

One day we’ll have a family one way or another, sometimes you just have to work damn hard for things - which makes them all the more precious to you.

Good luck to all.

Charlottle

Since writing this article, Charlottle and her Husband have gone through one fresh cycle of IVF resulting in frozen embryos for storage. Charlottle sufferred from OHSS during this cycle and had to await her subsequent embryo transfers. A pregnancy has not ocurred as yet and they are taking a break before starting treatment again.

Sam MacCuish
Cradle Editor